What Is a Healthy Marriage?

If we are honest with ourselves about the subject of marriage, many of us may admit that we do not really know what a healthy marriage looks like. And if we are really honest, we would admit that most of what we do and how we act in marriage is based mostly on how we saw our primary caregiver(s) behave in relationships. Our honesty about what we do and where we come from would allow us to step wholeheartedly into the grace that comes with acknowledging this truth- that in one sense, we are just doing what we saw, but in another, what we saw could be incredibly empty, painful, and damaging, and furthermore, attempting to get our spouse to do and be just like us in our dysfunction might just be the most damaging thing of all! So then what does a healthy marriage look like? Well, in this brief clip, Dr. Sue Johnson expounds upon what I (and many others in the Marriage and Family Therapy world) think is the key defining element in relationship success: emotional security and responsiveness. That's right. Not agreement, not similar interests, not lack of conflict. Rather, it's the freedom to express oneself and know that one's spouse will listen and respond to us, not necessarily how we want on a content level (meaning just doing what we say), but will respond nonetheless with concern, with an interest in what he have to say. What do you think? Take a look.