Why Premarital? 

Getting engaged is such an exciting time with cake tastings, venue tours, and dreaming about your future together. However, between picking a color scheme and writing your vows, it is easy to forget that marriage is about so much more than just the big day. It is about building a life together and that takes more than just love and good intentions. That is where premarital counseling comes in. 

Maybe you have come across the term Internal Family Systems (IFS), or heard it described as “Parts Work.” It’s been showing up more in therapy circles—and maybe even on your social media feed. As a therapist, I’ve found IFS to be one of the most compassionate and transformative approaches out there. Let me tell you why.

I considered it a wake-up call when I came across the New York Times article by Oliver Burkeman, “Stop Multitasking. No, Really-Just Stop It.” Somewhere during my years of raising my three children, I came to believe that my days would be richer and more streamlined if I could conquer numerous tasks at once, all the while wondering why I felt scattered and depleted. Burkeman describes it as being “afflicted by the ambient anxiety that seems to be an intrinsic part of life in the 2020s.” He prescribes a novel antidote for restoring one’s sanity: be present and focus on one activity at a time.

The holiday season has quickly descended upon us and for many, it can be a time of tremendous anxiety over people pleasing, getting the perfect gifts, and trying to make everyone’s family happy with your choices of how you spend your few precious days off work. For others, it may mean navigating an extended break from school with your family and introducing that special someone to the family for the first time. No matter how chaotic, stressful, or conflicting your holiday time may be, here are a few simple things to think about and reflect upon before excessive turkey and shopping consume every ounce of free brain capacity.

Ted Lasso believes it. Walt Whitman said it. But do you do it?

If you were to ask me What’s the one piece of advice you have for a successful relationship?, my answer would be this: Be curious, not judgmental. Easier said than done, right? This is an issue that plagues many of the relationships that I help on a day in and day out basis. So why does this simple issue plague so many relationships?