Why Premarital?
by Stevie Kay Hockett, LMFT (Temp), NCC
Getting engaged is such an exciting time with cake tastings, venue tours, and dreaming about your future together. However, between picking a color scheme and writing your vows, it is easy to forget that marriage is about so much more than just the big day. It is about building a life together and that takes more than just love and good intentions. That is where premarital counseling comes in.
Premarital counseling is a type of therapy that helps couples prepare for marriage by exploring important topics like communication styles, conflict management, expectations, money, intimacy, family dynamics, and life goals. It is a chance to talk about things you may not have considered yet or have not quite figured out how to talk about constructively. The goal is not to "fix" anything but to understand each other better and learn skills that will equip you to handle the inevitable challenges of sharing your life with someone.
The Benefits of Premarital Counseling
Better Communication and Conflict Management Skills:
Talking about feelings or disagreements is not always easy. Many couples do not realize they communicate in ways that may trigger defensiveness or shutdowns. Premarital helps partners recognize and change unhelpful patterns early on while teaching constructive conflict resolution. Learning how to express needs clearly and listen empathically can help you navigate tough conversations without them turning into fights.Alignment on Core Values:
Premarital counseling creates space for honest, sometimes vulnerable conversations about spirituality, parenting, finances and relationship roles. These discussions help identify potential differences before they become major issues. When partners know they align, or can respectfully agree to disagree, they can enter marriage with greater clarity and confidence.More Resilient Marriage:
Couples who attend premarital counseling tend to report stronger marriages and lower divorce rates. The difference is not luck, it is preparation. By learning realistic expectations and effective problem-solving, you are investing in your relationship just as you would in your health, career, or home.
The Risks of Skipping Premarital Counseling
Skipping premarital counseling does not mean your relationship is doomed, but it may mean you are heading into marriage without some key tools and insight. Unspoken assumptions or unresolved tensions can slowly erode intimacy over time. Without strong communication or conflict skills, couples may find themselves repeating the same fights, feeling resentful, or drifting apart. Marriage does not fix problems, it magnifies them. Premarital counseling helps you see what is working well and what could use some attention, so you can enter this next chapter feeling confident and connected.
If you are engaged or considering marriage, premarital counseling is one of the best investments you can make in your relationship. It shows you care not just about the wedding, but about the life you are building together. Marriage is not only about finding the right person, it is also about becoming the right partner. There is no better place to start than in a space designed to support both of you. If you are interested starting your premarital counseling journey, please reach out today and let us know. We would be glad to help! And to learn more about the impact of Prepare/Enrich, our premarital curriculum, click below!