Jerry Maguire Was Wrong

You've seen the movie. You know the scene. Jerry Maguire, played by Tom Cruise (prior to his Oprah couch surfing days), bursts into the room right on cue to save the male species from the grip of death by the insults of women. While the scene is certainly romantic and inspiring, it is also responsible for leading many to endorse an unhealthy relationship disposition. Jerry falsely leads us all to believe that another person can "complete us", and though that thought does send a warm and fuzzy sensation through our soul - to be "completed" by another - it is the cause of much relationship dissatisfaction.

This faulty manner of thinking generally starts when, out of an inner emptiness, we seek out another to "complete" us, and when we find this person, they become our world. It sounds nice, right? Well, it usually is, right up until there is a moment of difference, a moment when suddenly you don't complete me anymore because I did that or saw that differently than you. The unraveling begins with the discovery of differences that are not encouraging differences, but points of tension that create wounds. These wounds fester for years, if allowed, never really healing properly as the seeds of resentment have been sown and sprouted saplings of hate and bitterness through the open sore.

The formula of relationship is not 1/2 half person + 1/2 half person = 1. No one should "complete" you. You are a complete being, made in the image of God. You are made for relationship, not made by having relationships. Relationships are more like 1 whole person + 1 whole person = 1 healthy relationship. So, to the unattached, do not go looking for another half; start looking to become whole. To those considering becoming permanently attached,discover your relationship equation before making that commitment.  And to the attached who are finding that they their relationship is composed of halves, there is still hope.